there aren't very many young girls in this city who haven't at some time said, "i'm so sick of vancouver i really want a change so i'm going to move," or something else equally ridiculous and attention whoring, and i always have to ask myself why this person is so unhappy with the city. it is unfortunate that these remarks usually follow a statement like, "i've been going out since i was 14 and i'm 15 and a half now and i'm so done with going out, i just want to stay in forever," because it causes many people to dismiss the concerns of these girls offhand with no real attempt to understand them. i, however, believe that it is important to understand all sides of the argument and even if i didn't, i've been in the hospital and haven't updated for a while and can't think of any other ideas except barack obama so i'd probably do it anyways. so i ask: what's the deal with vancouver? is it really that different than anywhere else? i'll try to make a list of everything that is wrong with the city.
terminator 2 is quite possibly the greatest film of all time for far too many reasons than the poverty of language allows me to express in this blog, but one thing which should not go unmentioned, because it is relevant to vancouver's problems, is the setting: the los angeles of the late 80's and early 90's. while not quite the hive of scum and villainy that new york was at the same time, los angeles had the benefit of having large areas which were nearly abandoned and allowed a young john connor to piggy back on his mulleted friend's motorbike and go to the arcade instead of school. and isn't that the ultimate city? a place where you can just say fuck school, i'm going to the arcade and i'll get there by speeding down this abandoned drainage canal and no parent will say shit to me because they won't even know and my mom is in the insane asylum so they can't call her? sort of like having your very own private city.
vancouver is absolutely nothing like this, there aren't really any neighbourhoods without high rise condo towers with a starbucks in the bottom where you could get away with something like that. infact, there are fewer and fewer places where a guy can take a leak in a dark corner without some yuppy prick tapping him on the shoulder and being all, "excuse me, young man, but you are urinating on my petunias." seriously, it is a sign of a sickness in our community when a man can't even take a piss on a public street without some latté swilling jerk web designer giving him a hard time about it.
actually, that's probably the only thing i don't like about vancouver: that it isn't like los angeles from the late 80's and it is full of rich jerks who come home just as i'm peeing on the porch of their yaletown condo. otherwise it's pretty nice: we've got the ocean, mountains, the public transit is alright, and lots of bands come here on tour. i don't know what the fuck is wrong with those stupid spoiled bitches. case closed.
