go be fat somewhere else

i have devoted my life to fighting injustice in all its forms and i must admit that i have met with very limited success. some days i believe that this world is too corrupt to ever be redeemed by a single person, no matter how handsome he is, but deep down inside i know that i must do what i can. while i get great pleasure from this, do not think that i do it for personal reasons, sure i prank call telus operators from pay phones to get back at them for their horrible cell phone service, but i am also concerned about larger problems, infact, the problem i am most concerned about could be the single greatest injustice in the entire universe: ugly people who somehow manage to convince attractive people to have sex with them. this is so perverse that many would say it doesn't really need any explanation, but it persists to this day so i feel it is important to discuss why this is so wrong.


the real problem which must be overcome is people calling me shallow for saying this. it has often been the case that when i see a situation where an ugly dude has an attractive girlfriend i will mention it and whoever i am with will say, "he's probably a really nice guy. there is more to people than looks!" first of all, sometimes i'm not sure of that, and secondly, what proof do you have that the douche bag isn't some kind of reptile who only got her because he somehow tricked her using black magic or insulted her so much that her self esteem collapsed in on itself and she was willing to take whatever was offered? you don't. the assumption that people who are unnatractive have better personalities than people who are is ridiculous and unamerican, it might seem like the pretty girl who turned you down is a dumb bitch compared to her hambeast friend who really wants to comfort you, but this isn't science, it's just sad; so the argument that "they're together because she sees past his hideous face and big gut" is totally based on speculation, whereas my argument that he is ugly is pure fact.


and the whole notion of inner beauty is ridiculous: i could tell all sorts of lies about the sort of person i am and even behave in a certain way when i know people will find out about it, and how would anybody know i wasn't being honest? on the other hand, no one could possibly get away with telling people that they were really attractive if it wasn't true. an individual looking for certainty and honesty in his or her life really has no option but to simply choose someone based on looks and just hope for the best personality-wise because at least you're certain to be happy with half of the package.

futhermore, people change their minds all the time, people stop being communists or wiccans or mac users and decide to become something totally different and useful to society, so what will happen to a relationship based on mutual interests? compared to liking someone for how they look, which is far less likely to change, this sounds like a recipe for disaster. additionally, a personality is a pretty big thing, so how much of it will you really be able to say you like? if you're interested in someone for their sense of humour, kindness, and loyalty, that is only three things (which might not even exist in reality), whereas i can think of 5 or 6 things i really like about jude law's appearance. who's shallow now?


so, you are a fool for entering into a relationship with someone less attractive than you because the intangible qualities you claim to be attracted to could just be an elaborate lie, like in there's something about mary, and even if they are real at the time, people change their minds so often that it seems the pinnacle of shallowness to be attracted to someone for a view they might hold for a week and then change. nope, the only way to avoid being lied to or entering into a relationship for a reason which might dissapear days later is to go for good looks. they can't be faked and, barring a car accident or crocodile attack, they are much more long lived than personality traits or opinions. so be "shallow" and happy and for the love of god, please stop having sex with ugly people.