i came here to hate and chew bubble gum, and i'm all out of bubble gum

i have been accused of everything from aggravated sexual assault to being unfunny and boring, but one thing i have never been called is a hater. infact, i devote a depressingly large amount of my copius spare time to denouncing haters of all shapes and sizes (although i prefer it when they are fat because that makes it easier to discredit them). i have seen many haters and been hated on myself more than enough times to know that the worst kind of hater is the kind who goes out specifically to have a bad time.

i have been guilty of this in the past: i was tricked into going to alexisonfire and i stood there scowling with my arms crossed the entire time, breaking my frown every few minutes to ask if the redhead was alex and that was why they said he was on fire (none of them have red hair). i believe that history will forgive me because alexisonfire is terrible and i was in a bad mood, but on friday i went and saw dandi wind and my night was made slightly less pleasant than it could have been by these assholes behind me who kept saying stupid shit to each other in their outside voices about how much they didn't like the show because they thought it was weird and they did not enjoy the way particular people in the audience were dressed or dancing or some bullshit like that.


seriously, who the fuck gets dressed up like an urban outfitters mannequin (plus a bandana around the neck for good luck) and pays $12 to go to a show which will obviously be full of people dressed in varying degrees of ridiculousness and having a good, noisy time and then complains about the whole thing? i went there to have fun and be screamed at by a crazy 105lb woodland nymph dressed like a zombie, not to hear how "totally weirded out" by the thundering squall the fat guy behind me is or how his idiot girlfriend thinks it is lame that people are (at the request of the band) dancing on a speaker. why did you come out to be mean? it's almost as bad as a grown man insulting a teenager on the internet; the only purpose people like this have is to make me wait 20 extra minutes in line at the walk-in clinic when i'm in desperate need of getting the tingle in my dingle checked on.

i mean, i guess it's cool that they paid their money and everything so they're basically entitled to behave however they want, but can't haters who stand around in clumps busily gossiping to each other, pausing only to look up at the crowd for a few seconds (without making eye contact with anybody) to gather new information about how relatively uncool everything is, particularly the people who are dancing, look exactly like social misfits at a highschool dance who have talked each other up about how they're soooo going to get laid tonight but then lack the confidence to talk to anyone but themselves and end up just brainstorming excuses for why they're unable to have a good time and going home alone, extremely unlaid?

if your social anxiety prevents you from having fun and not being a little bitch, maybe you should just stay home instead of breathing down my neck and driving me nuts with your stupid high pitched nervous laugh. unless you're there to blog about it you should at least pretend to enjoy yourself.

i apologise for the terrible picture, larry took it

also, dandi wind was awesome and girl who was wearing the blue and white dress, i thought you looked nice so forgive them, they know not what they do.