walking on sunshine at the ukraine hall and richards

last night, after all the excitement of fake shark real zombie and you say party! we say die! at the ukraine hall and bend sinister at 1/2 alive, i found myself separted from my friends and led, as if in a dream, to a secret grotto of hedonistic pleasure on the top floor of some large residential tower. my next memory is waking up, entirely naked, stomach deep in a hot mud bath with my arms spread out luxuriously upon the warmed marble tile into which the tub was set.

looking down, a girl i recognised as katrina leskanich of katrina and the waves was gently massaging my feet, stopping occasionally to suck on my big toe when she had a mouthful of iced dom perignon to tickle me with. we were soon joined by the rest of the band who were all very eager to hear about my night.

"well," i began, "you guys are probably huge fans of my blog so i don't need to tell you how much i love all ages shows, and not just because of the little girls," i winked and katrina giggled while rolling my big toe in her mouth, "i'd never heard of the first band, i/i or something, but they did their best to break the spirit of the dancing teenagers by playing a noise rock set that would not end and at one point, in a bizarre homage to spinal tap, playing a bass guitar with the mic stand, i half expected him to try to tune the mic stand before continuing."

"and the audience was willing to sit through all that?" asked vince in honest amazement.
"yes, the teenagers in the audience even managed to dance to the wall of wailing guitars and feedback."
"fucking incredible!" shouted an exceedingly drunk alex.
"fake shark played a really energetic set, except at one point some dickwad in the audience hit the drummer in the face with a football. kids."
"and then you say party played? how were they? they're huge back in england! did they play the gap?" asked vince again with as much excitement as last time. before i could answer i let loose a fit of giggles as katrina began licking in between my toes with champagne bubbles on her tongue.
"actually, i didn't stay for their entire set, i went to bend sinister at richard's on richards so i don't know if they played the gap or not." i sheepishly admitted.
"are they a band?" hiccuped alex who could barely keep his balance on the poolside.
"yeah, they're from vancouver and awesome and very similar to les savy fav in that their singer is a hairy fat guy who screams his guts out, except he smashes a keyboard with his powerful hands as well." alex and vince nodded at eachother, wished me a good night and left the room. when they were gone, shy kimberly who hadn't said a word the entire time undressed quickly and slipped into the tub, sliding up beside me she said, "you sure do a lot of talking for a guy with your reputation." i laughed, put my arm around her, and drew katrina up to my side.