there aren't very many young girls in this city who haven't at some time said, "i'm so sick of vancouver i really want a change so i'm going to move," or something else equally ridiculous and attention whoring, and i always have to ask myself why this person is so unhappy with the city. it is unfortunate that these remarks usually follow a statement like, "i've been going out since i was 14 and i'm 15 and a half now and i'm so done with going out, i just want to stay in forever," because it causes many people to dismiss the concerns of these girls offhand with no real attempt to understand them. i, however, believe that it is important to understand all sides of the argument and even if i didn't, i've been in the hospital and haven't updated for a while and can't think of any other ideas except barack obama so i'd probably do it anyways. so i ask: what's the deal with vancouver? is it really that different than anywhere else? i'll try to make a list of everything that is wrong with the city.
terminator 2 is quite possibly the greatest film of all time for far too many reasons than the poverty of language allows me to express in this blog, but one thing which should not go unmentioned, because it is relevant to vancouver's problems, is the setting: the los angeles of the late 80's and early 90's. while not quite the hive of scum and villainy that new york was at the same time, los angeles had the benefit of having large areas which were nearly abandoned and allowed a young john connor to piggy back on his mulleted friend's motorbike and go to the arcade instead of school. and isn't that the ultimate city? a place where you can just say fuck school, i'm going to the arcade and i'll get there by speeding down this abandoned drainage canal and no parent will say shit to me because they won't even know and my mom is in the insane asylum so they can't call her? sort of like having your very own private city.
vancouver is absolutely nothing like this, there aren't really any neighbourhoods without high rise condo towers with a starbucks in the bottom where you could get away with something like that. infact, there are fewer and fewer places where a guy can take a leak in a dark corner without some yuppy prick tapping him on the shoulder and being all, "excuse me, young man, but you are urinating on my petunias." seriously, it is a sign of a sickness in our community when a man can't even take a piss on a public street without some latté swilling jerk web designer giving him a hard time about it.
actually, that's probably the only thing i don't like about vancouver: that it isn't like los angeles from the late 80's and it is full of rich jerks who come home just as i'm peeing on the porch of their yaletown condo. otherwise it's pretty nice: we've got the ocean, mountains, the public transit is alright, and lots of bands come here on tour. i don't know what the fuck is wrong with those stupid spoiled bitches. case closed.
5 comments:
we got it better here than everywhere else I've been. kids have more fun, better quality of shows. the damn beach is in the middle of a rainforest. but the grass is always greener right.
but seriously, theres no way you could rip around town on a mini bike here! so jealous!
damn! why is it that the only other comments were by those fuckin jerks at 1/2alive! don't think they are saying that to like make them "more local" or "give them more street cred" or whatever.
but its true. our city is amazing, but not perfect. its lil things. you find me a city that has a rainforest(stanley park)attached to its downtown core, that is actually bigger than its downtown core(no heat waves...hello!).
you can walk from the beach to junkieland in 30 minutes. you can bike and get high even faster. that's funny too!
things are just the right size, FOR NOW. we are a crazy young city. things are just gonna get better. its just that you can't bitch. that doesn't help a problem. a negative commenting on a negative. you get a black hole there, buddy.
there is no point comparing us to new york or london or someother big place. sure its rad there's something "to do" each nite(aka get drunk...wow!). we are like in grade 3 to their college frat party...just be happy you aren't in fucking china making me reebok classics for a bux a day and shittin into a bag that is attached to the bottom of your chair by a hole that is cut out of yer seat...perspective...
...fuck why did those last two comments have to be from tyler and tony!!!!!if i didn't do soooo many drugs in high school and tonite i'd run for mayor of this city...but then again i wouldn't want to deal with corrupt and scary unions and gangs(if you don't think our city is mad corrupt a la the wire you are naive...you don't have these many drugs and no arrests with no one turning the other way)!
anyways!
i heart this place.
i heart this place.
i heart it!
that's a girls way of saying 'i've maxed out all the male potential in my community' or 'everyone in my community hates me'. ie: i've slept with all the boys that will even look at me, girls are sending me hate mail and i care, or people are talking about me at da club when i walk into the bathroom, OR they got their fake id taken away.
oh, and also if they stop feeling 'cool' and 'different'! if their 11th grade peers start getting fake id's and going out, they 'get over it' before you can say 'scenester slut', because now they're just your average school girl who steals from american apparel.
girls are ridiculous.
thank you for providing me with a much clearer explanation jen. this blog is dope.
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